dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize