Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize