Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize