Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize