If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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