friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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