He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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