some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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