she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize