is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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