I hate your face
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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