My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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