haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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