I am spending my child support on dildos
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
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She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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