...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize