i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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