If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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