i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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