dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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