I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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