it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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