Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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