The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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