alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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