Me. At least after what I've been through.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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