They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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