his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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