my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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