so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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