im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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