i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize