I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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