Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think i have herpe
just one?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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