Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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