he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize