I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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