He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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