The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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