I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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