Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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