Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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