No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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