Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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