He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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