More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize