Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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