??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize