Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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