is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
