I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
